Wallitner Weekly 28

Hello everyone!

A lot of productive things happened this past week.

This week went by so fast. We put some deposits in for the wedding stuff, I wrote some theory textbook stuff, I streamed a lot of video games. I also wrote a lot of poetry. But time went by really fast this week. So much so that I nearly didn’t write this weekly again.

I’ve got lots of plans for next week too!

Next weekend I will be going to a pumpkin patch with some friends and I am looking forward to that. I hope to continue writing poetry and I also want to finally finish this song of hope. Its nearly done, I just need to figure out an ending.

Processing Grief As An Artist.

I am still mourning the loss of my theory professor. And with those feelings, I am realizing that I have a problem. When someone who writes is sad, they write. And I have spent quite a bit of Time writing. But my problem is when I write and I am emotional, I write better. I do really well, I think, at writing about my feelings. So when I am sad and I write about being sad, its really good sad writing. And now all of my best poems are sad and all of my best music is sad and everything is sad.

Its a vicious cycle of music and poetry. Its like my worlds have gone greyscale, but there is beauty in that. We need the contrast of the grey days and the bright ones.

I think of the painter Vincent Van Gogh. Some of you may know him as the painter who was missing an ear. He has one of the saddest artistic stories that there ever was. He never became commercially successful during his lifetime. It wasn't until after his suicide that people began to see him as a misunderstood artist. They realized that his paintings were unique and they have since gone on to be some of the most expensive paintings ever sold.

If we’re being honest, the part of Vincent that I was thinking of was actually from a Doctor Who episode. The Doctor had traveled back in time and brought Vincent to a museum that housed all of his works. Vincent then overhears the museum tour guide talking about how Van Gogh is one of the greatest painters. The way Van Gogh’s life was so incredibly sad, but he painted with exquisite color. Like with the starry night. He created something so beautiful out of a miserable situation.

I think about how things, especially art, gain so much value after their painter is gone. I thought about laughter. Laughter is free, when there are people to laugh with. But once those people are gone, laughter is priceless. I think of stories and smiles and memories that seemed so frivolous in the moment. But now that those moments have past Id do anything to have them back.

I have since tried to acknowledge the scarcity of these moments. I’d like to call the moments for what they are, priceless.

So if there’s someone in your life you’d like to see smile, go make them laugh. Record it, take a picture, write about it. Someday it could be worth more than you could ever imagine.